Authentic . . . but not transparent

Fake filters , inhuman AI, daily vlogs and revealing posts, we get flooded daily with material that just feels wrong: the superficial, the too private, the contrived, the raw, the explicit, even the vague. We want to stop the trends and be more authentic but also not be too much. Here’s how to keep it real in a emotionally developed and mature way:

1. Be willing to not know: If you have mixed feelings, it is authentic sometimes to say “I’ll have to think about that” or “I’m not sure how that will work for me.” When we think not knowing means not capable or not caring, we may push to decide too quickly and choose what doesn’t align with our true needs.
2. If you have a hesitation, say so: Sometimes we do not have what we need to respond. Don’t take for granted that we have to keep the conversation where it started. We may need to move to some preconditions. Saying “first, I’ll need to know this or that” or “I’m concerned you may not like my answer” and discuss those needs before moving into the discussion that was presented.
3. Respond with what you notice: We can tend to overlook what makes us uncomfortable. Feedback is crucial to helping others grow and holding back can be frustrating for others who can sense your resistance. Ask permission: “I’d like to share what I’m noticing”
4. Repair when there’s been a rupture: Ignoring a mistake erodes trust and looks fragile. Acknowledging regrets and reaching out shows mutual respect and caring. “I know I reacted rashly and I’d like to redo that.”
5. Be willing to adjust: Not everyone is looking for authenticity. Be superficial with those who resist going deeper, but find those who will to spend most of your time and energy with.
6. Be willing to be disliked: Some people will unconsciously fear your honesty and dismiss, reject, or criticize you. To be authentic, we have to accept that’s where they are. They were never your audience anyway.

Here are some affirmations for authenticity:

I am open to learn more in every experience.

I choose love over fear.

I forgive so that I am forgiven.

I allow respect and I remove myself from disrespect.

I naturally match the pace of others, understanding diversity and limitation.

Being authentic takes practice but it can be addictive. Feelings of self worth and love and a natural flow will replace the need for approval and control, and you will be better off in every way!