Normal doesn’t mean healthy. It’s “normal” to live paycheck to paycheck; but it isn’t healthy. It’s “normal” to eat fast food; but it isn’t healthy. It’s “normal” to delay health checkups; but it isn’t healthy.
This applies to emotional health also. It’s “normal” to shame your kids for not doing their homework; but it isn’t healthy. It’s “normal” to make up an excuse when it’s hard to say no; but it isn’t healthy. It’s “normal” to ignore the signs that someone is struggling to hold back tears or anger and talk about the weather; but it isn’t healthy.
When someone rejects something that is “normal” but isn’t healthy, out of ignorance they get called a “snowflake” or soft or weak. When someone overdoes something that is “normal” but not healthy, they get called loser or lazy or slob. We need a radical shift in how we view fragility and how we view dysfunction.
A Renaissance physician once noted that the poison is in the dose. This means anything can be toxic or medicine, the difference is in the dosage. Two aspirin cures a headache, a whole bottle wouldn’t be very good for you.
Some people can tolerate a high dose of unhealthy. They get along with arrogant coworkers, they shrug off dramatic mother-in-laws, they tolerate overspending spouses, and they bounce back when hardship happens — a death, a lost job, an illness.
Some people do not have resilience in the face of difficulty. They argue with coworkers, they gossip about family, they try to control their spouse, they overeat or binge tv, and when hardship happens, they spiral.
I know this — not because I’m a therapist — I know this because this was me. And because this was me, I’m a therapist. After years of hard work, I have developed my own resiliency and I help others do the same.
The really good news is that if you start out fragile and do the work, you end up surpassing the resilient masses and become something really special: a healer.
The Mind Renewed 
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